a micropoem for everyone i have ever loved; thus far
homemade meals.
cherished memories.
grandmother’s touch.
you are the only reason why this godforsaken
place feels like a home. (please, do not leave me.)
childlike adoration, genuine and untamed. a feeling i hadn’t quite known prior to knowing you. i am eternally grateful that you were the one to impart such
feelings to me. we played the part in an one-sided tale,
yet friendship holds.
you did not love me [and that’s okay, for i did not love you either]. we were too young to tell, anyway [right?] i was [nothing to you] barely even human to you. [you told me you were bored of me] [i was boring cause i wouldn’t expose myself to you]
and i became even less
than that when i said
“no.”
nearly seven years of us. kindred spirits (?) interests align.
body language perfectly mirrored. my companion in joy (and sorrows). a bond under strain.
i do not believe in God and religion,
but i’ll bruise my knees just to pray for this world to embrace you with everything you oh-so deserve.
shared baths.
shared meals.
one shared bed. together on your front porch,
we gazed longingly at the moon — talking about the boys we thought we loved and wondering if they did the same with us. we were a whole. you and me [we]. i wonder if you look at the moon and think of me.
‘ a father is his daughter’s best friend ’ when i think of this quote i do not think of my father, instead i think of you — my uncle; who stepped in and took on a father’s role (as best as you could). i love you [too] alwayz.
i went back to ‘our’ spot on that bench only to realize that it had been removed [i told you about this expecting you to be upset, too, but you didn’t even acknowledge it…]
we often sat together on that bench. i first accepted that i was in love with you on that bench. we talked for hours about the stars hoping for time to stop so we could have that moment forever. funny… ‘our’ bench is gone and so are you.
sometimes i take a good look at you and think about what could have been.
but, all beautiful things must come to an end. we didn't even have a beginning.
our friendship remains in the records of my heart, but the echoes of betrayal linger.
our biggest fight was over a seat in the classroom. we were eleven / twelve.
we were so upset with one another that we didn't talk for an entire day. the
next day we apologized, we hugged,
and you cried. a single tear. heartfelt and clear. i felt so happy. so loved. could you ever imagine being loved so
much?
though you would never admit it: you hurt me greatly, too. and though you moved on so quickly,
i had been stuck with the pain that followed those seven days.
nothing could have prepared me for the impact of you. as the months unfold, a beautiful friendship was found. you’ve helped me to feel [be] authentic and free.
through the trials of life: ups and downs, highs and lows
— you will forever be my most intimate friend. you are my
safe place, a
place where love is familiar.
a ray
of sunshine trapped within
a human body.
a vessel containing a soul which
overflows with love.
you deserve nothing
less than what you put out
into the world.
sometimes i think of you and
i wonder how you’re doing.
long gone are the days
that we
shared together.
we are no longer who we used to be.
the passage of time is
inevitable, and
so is change.
i hope we never change.
let us stay the same.
and even after everything,
you still love me with an open heart.
with conversations
lasting hours after exhausting
school days; a friendship
blossomed.
you’ve always been there
for me.
i’m sorry i wasn’t a good friend to you.
forgive me.
someday
it will all be behind us.
i’m glad we’re better now.
guitar strings / jangling keychains
on the loops of your jeans / lit
cigarette placed between
your lips / the smoke curls and
fades in
the air / like every word
unsaid.
you’ve gotten to know all the bitter parts of who i truly am, and yet you still proudly call me
your friend. it all meant something, and yet nothing at all. i’m still figuring it out.
when i was a young *girl*
i begged the universe (and God) to allow me to receive the love i don’t believe i deserve.
it sent me you.
i have been blessed with receiving you as a friend.
God knows i love you.
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