about the boy from the bench beneath the stars

 and just like that we stopped being “ best friends ” because it was “ the right thing ” to do in that unfortunate situation. / our friendship did not last very long, but it meant the absolute world to me. apparently, it also did for you yet letting go of me became such an effortless decision. / you said that ending our friendship was not an easy decision for you but how am i to ever believe that with the way things proceeded to play out. /it’s crazy that i still miss you and wish to see you in all of this because i only feel awful things when i think and speak about you. / you definitely did not care about me as much as you said you did or else we wouldn’t be in this situation. that is clear to me right now. / “i’m glad i met you percy” and so was i, but i don't know anymore. / i think we would have been just fine continuing our lives as strangers. / the worst part of all of this is that i would still be here for you if you need me. i love(d) you so much, and i resent myself so much for it now. / “you shouldn’t bother sitting and waiting around for me to be your friend anymore,” but you said “see you later” instead of “goodbye” — so, what exactly does that mean?

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there is a stark difference between saying “ see you later ” instead of “ goodbye ” / “ goodbye ” is a final farewell — it’s almost permanent. it means that you may never see the other person again, or ever / “ see you later ” is not final, or permanent — it means that you expect (or even: hope) to see the other person again, even if you do not know when / so, what does it mean when someone says “ see you later ” instead of “ goodbye ” after telling you that you should not hold out any hope of ever being friends again? / you said, “i’m so glad i met you percy” and i was glad i met you, but i don’t know anymore / i believe that we would have been just fine continuing our lives as strangers / you said that i was your “ best friend ” and yet it feels like there was nothing easier for you than to let me go because it was the “right thing” for you to do / i love(d) you, and i resent myself so much for it.

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i really love you, but in the way i used to.

(an old piece because i wrote nothing today)

(i no longer resonate with the feeling sof this piece, thank GOD)

(posting both edits of it)

(not putting the date because it wasn't written today)